lackluster
It's February already… It's way too early to be so burned out on things, but this is where I've found myself already.
A full load of coursework in grad school (9 hours/3 classes) is on my plate each week, which means at least 3 books per week… then add to that teaching. I have 2 classes that I teach two times per week. So, I'm in class roughly 10.5 hours per week, whether teaching or learning. Outside of class, I'm usually reading or prepping to teach. Or sleeping. However, the chances of the latter are usually growing more and more slim as the days go by.
I'm in a mad dash to the finish line of May. I graduate then. But sometime before then, I have to complete and pass my classes, take my comps and pass them (oh and don't forget, prepare for them!), and teach at the same time.
I also just got word that I was accepted for Graduate Research Day, which is a huge honor, and if I win my division, it means prize money and a big honorary notation on my CV (as so does participation). I know I'm in over my head already… but, I'm trimming down a previous paper for this project. See, this is what we do: we combine projects as much as possible… for example: most of my papers for all of my classes all have an urban history twist. Why? I can submit them at any time for an urban history topic if the time every presents itself and still be considered in the realm of an urban historian. Yeah, cheap trick. But, I learned from the masters: my professors.
So, in the mean time, while I'm getting burned out by school already in early February (and school started less than a month ago), chirping at my students (who some, by the way, are the whiniest I've ever seen), I'm sending out this call to remind me in May that all this pain and heartache, this absence from social life, the exhaustion, the burnout… remind me that it was all worth it when I'm graduating, OK?
oh the insanity
Of course with December comes the insanity of the holidays…
Except, this December, I celebrated my 30th birthday. It was great. I loved it. It didn't change much. I actually would always accidentally tell people I was already 30, and then have to correct myself. Maybe I was preparing for it before? Who knows…
But, with the insanity of December also came the end of the semester for teaching and for grad school, which I fortunately aced, but not without some bit of exhaustion. After I finished each of those, I felt I was due a vacation, so I headed off to Chicago. I am due for a recap of my trip to Chicago, and I hope to do that in a few days, and include some pictures.
Also, my resolution for 2010: be better at updating my blog… Ha! It actually does keep me on my toes about my writing.
So… a short update since my last blog was in November, but the #EpicDec Chicago update will be here soon!
minor setbacks
It's sad to think that simple things such as the flu that develop into severe things like bronchitis and pneumonia, that become critical enough to keep you down and sick for almost three weeks, including a hospital stay, can make you so far behind in academics, and life. It's amazing to see how such a nagging virus can take toll on your life and make you stressed to the core as you try to catch up… For me, it's not just catching up in grad school; it's also catching up students I'm teaching. Of course, this all occurred in October, just after I got back from New York, but one of the major consequences just hit home.
I've been going at the fastest pace that I can go, and there is no way that I can keep up, and last week, I waved the surrender flag for one of my graduate classes. I'll have to withdraw, which means that I'll either have to take an overload next semester if I teach, teach and take only 2 classes and take the final class in the summer (meaning no graduation ceremony; at my school, on May & December), or take my last three classes in the spring and don't teach. I feel like I'm stuck with a massive decision that I don't want to make. Either way, it's a pretty major consequence that doesn't give me much breathing room for error.
Hah. Breathing room… and that's where it all started… stupid pneumonia.
sudden outburst
What in the world is wrong with people? Our country? Our world?
First, Joe Wilson shouts back at President Obama during the Joint Congressional speech. Then, Kanye West takes the mic from Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech. And it seems like everywhere else, there are random complaints about how kids today don't know the proper way to socialize or conduct themselves in a classroom or in a group.
Folks, what we have here is a failure to communicate. Or even… to learn the basics of communication.
Here are a few handy, dandy ways to combat the breakdowns in communication that perhaps you might be facing*:
- Don't be a copycat.
Do not in whatsoever way, try to impersonate the British Parliament. Seriously, they're on Sunday night TV for a reason in the U.S.: it's entertainment for us. We can't do that here, so we get to watch it. They make themselves out to be downright crazed lunatics by talking to the Prime Minister in whatever form they like, and we address the President with utmost respect no matter how much we like or dislike him. Also, we don't have soldiers that can pull off the demeanor of those in England. Those are the rules. Obey them. This is the way it works. George Washington said so. - Get your facts straight.
George Bush doesn't hate black people. George Wallace did. Kanye got it completely wrong. He's blaming the wrong George. In fact, I'm pretty sure if he had blamed the correct George in the first place, this whole ordeal wouldn't have taken place, and poor Taylor Swift wouldn't have been shaking in her boots. And quite possibly, Lady Gaga wouldn't have terrified every living soul on the planet with "art." - Don't be "that guy."
You know "that guy." He's the "guy" that eternally lives on in the butt of all jokes. For example, who will ever forget Poland now? Or, who can ever mention the planet Uranus now that some person made a dirty out of it? Or, remember "that guy" who yelled out during the President's speech in 2009? Or even "that guy" who yanked the mic out of Taylor Swift's hand to declare that someone else should've received the award? See… you know exactly who I'm talking about. "That guy." - Lose the cameras and TV.
Remember when people actually read the news? And then formed their own opinion? And then remember when they stopped and all of a sudden people simply regurgitated ideas from talking heads like cows chewing on cud in the field? Yeah, me too. It's like we're living in Idiocracy, and I'm looking at the sharp decline of society.
Just a few ideas of ways that we can get back to basic forms of communication. Heck, if you'd actually make a phonecall or visit someone, it might build that communication instead of just sending a chat message, a tweet, or a Facebook message. But, of course, the Wall Street Journal is print, and print can be wrong, right? Perhaps it might not be in some cases. But still, I'm banking on print, because right now, the voices coming from the television are absolutely crazy.
Joe? Kanye?
That's what I thought.
*This is totally meant to be satire, folks… I LOVE watching the British parliament on TV, and totally respect them, and history still is unsure that George Wallace was or was not a racist in his later life. And who knows, maybe Lady Gaga's performance actually was "art."
a step in the right direction
Well, long before I expected it, I will (pending the completion of the paperwork and the verification of my transcripts) begin teaching on the community college level. It's an emergency situation for the school, since the semester is beginning in less than a month. My predecessor was a colleague from grad school, and gave me as his recommendation for the position. Strangely enough, as I went in for what I considered my first interview, I walked out with the textbook, the instructor's manual, and sample syllabi to help me construct my own, in addition to the class schedules. So, I'll be teaching two classes per week, Western Civ I and Western Civ II, on the same days, so I only have to commute twice, which is great. It's a fantastic opportunity, and the History Department Chair has offered herself to help out whenever I need, since I'm learning.
It's quite amazing… especially for the situation, since they had to find someone. I had to find a job. And this one was RIGHT up my alley. I can't put into words how exciting it is! I'm nervous as all get-out, since my predecessor is practically brilliant. I hope I don't let him OR the department chair down.
Here's to learning experiences, new adventures, and steps toward my big goals in life. Now just to get that Ph.D. program under my belt.
