october epic
Yes, I know. This post is so far beyond delayed, it's not funny. My life is so far behind now, it's not funny. But, you know what? What'll you do? At least I'm posting it. Why? Well, for one. I want to remember this.
From the beginning, October Epic (or from what the Twitter hashtag became #OctoberEpic) started as a joke. I said that I wanted to visit New York to my friend Dani (@dani3boyz), and it just continued. I hadn't taken vacation in about 6 years. And I knew that I would've LOVED to see the new #1 draft pick John Tavares play with the Islanders, so I knew that a trip was in order. I also knew that I was going stir crazy, as I spent the entire summer at home searching for a job and having no success, which mean the inability to do anything, since I was saving my money. Read more
halloweening in history
Yesterday in class, I gave an extra points opportunity, which I like to do from time-to-time to help those who really are trying in the class and just can't quite get over test humps, pop quizzes, etc. I know they are studying; their answers are reflected in essays. They know the material, but they get test anxiety. They are in essence, me as an undergrad.
For fun, I offered them the chance to dress up for Halloween. Now, it's a Tues/Thurs class, so Halloween didn't fall for a few more days, but still. It's a points-based class, so anything and everything helps, too! They received 5 bonus points for ANY Halloween costume, and 25 bonus points for a historical costume. Of course, the historical costume had to be relevant to the course (Western Civ I=premodern to c.1300, Western Civ II=c.1300 to present), and they had to be able to tell something about themselves. Boy did I have no idea what I was in for during class… Read more
laughter is the best medicine
Since the last two weeks were a little rough (and hot as hades here in the deep South), this week, the Goalie and I sat down to watch a few humorous YouTube videos. However, it all started from the last post about the infamous hockey be with the Goalie (of which he's still taunting me about, even in the comments of my own blog). He laughed hysterically about the Bruins "Don't Date Within the Division" commercial, which he had apparently missed at some point along the way (and he calls himself a B's fan… psh).
The one commercial turned into the entire series of the Bruins' playoff spots, and then as I was browsing through my favorites, I remembered one of the funniest videoes that I had seen in a LONG time. Now, it's debated on whether or not the guy actually does have a medical condition, or whether he's faking it, but holy crap, it's funny. And seriously, the Goalie and I were laughing so hard, I was crying. Here's a best-of clip so you get a taste of it:
And then we swapped over to MY favorite YouTube video which had me laughing so hard that I was in tears and my sides were hurting… Not quite the same as the Tourette's guy, but oh wow, it's cute AND giggly.
And of course, the video that makes me giggle and think: "You stupid kid, but I love you because of your stinkin' cute British accent. Plus, your chubby little brother is adorable."
So, we spent an entire afternoon laughing… and laughing… and laughing some more. Who says laughter isn't good for the soul? I think it's perfect. I'd have any day just like that, because the laughter made me keep giggling too, even if it had been rainy and gloomy outside.
Oh, and believe me… There are so many Tourette's Guy video jokes one-liners made amidst conversation between the Goalie and I to try to break the serious moods sometimes, it's not funny. But, it cracks me up. Anyone who can yell "Bob Saget!" anytime something goes wrong gets points for hilarity and originality in my book.
wordsmithing
I'm taking back an old habit that I once had before: reading. While I don't have the wealth of time that I did when I was a full time graduate student (of course, then, it was my "job" to read), I still enjoy the time that I get to escape into the author's creative center. One of my favorite authors to read is Sarah Vowell. She has a way of writing that continually pulls me in and I can't put the book down… unless of course, it's almost 1am, and I'm about to fall asleep because of how long my day has been. But, that's not the point.
Sarah Vowell tends to take on political and historical topics with a twist. Lately, she has trended toward historical topics, which as a history geek, I'm all over. Her last book, Assassination Vacation, was absolutely hysterical, and it made me want to jump in my car and start road-tripping to see dead president's graves, a task which I've already taken up (Kennedy, Taft, A. Johnson = check). Last spring, one of my graduate reading seminars focused on the factors leading into the American Revolution. Sarah Vowell's newest book, The Wordy Shipmates, focuses on the journey of the early pilgrims, the leadership of John Winthrop, and the beginnings of the Plymouth/Massachusetts Bay Colony.
If you've ever heard Vowell on This American Life on NPR, then you're familiar with her style. She's quirky, snarky, and incredibly intelligent. And most of my guy friends who have a brain can tell you that they'd love to date her, or even marry her. Hence, I'd say, I'd love to be her, too. Again, that wasn't the point I was going to make, but she's amazing, nonetheless. Take for example two excerpts from the book:
…Lincoln, early on in the Civil War, called for saving the Union because it was the 'last best hope of earth.' That was the speech in which Lincoln pointed out 'we cannot escape history.' Well, we can't. …[W]hat happened at Abu Ghraib is sickening, not only because it's just plain sickening but because America is supposed to be better than that. No: best. I hate to admit it, but I still believe that, too. Because even though my head tells me that the idea that America was chosen by God as His righteous city on a hill is ridiculous, my heart still buys into it…. Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada? …[WInthrop said] The eyes of all people are upon us. And all they see is a mash-up of naked prisoners and an American girl in fatigues standing there giving a thumbs-up. As I write this, the United States of America is still a city on a hill; and it's still shining–because we never turn off the lights in our torture prisons. That's how we carry out the sleep deprivation.
Or, another excerpt…
In terms of historical tourism, the Pilgrims of 1620 get all the glory. Families, my own included, plan vacations around visiting Plymouth's Mayflower II and 'Plimouth Plantation,' the re-created colonial English and Wampanoag village on the outskirts of town. My sister Amy, my then seven-year-old nephew Owen, and I visited it one summer. It is peopled by actors who will not, under any circumstances, break character–not even when Owen suggested they could really spruce up their cramped little houses by shopping at Home Depot or maybe even Lowe's because Lowe's offers 'everyday low prices.' …We then made the acquaintance of one Englishman Amy dubbed the 'Pilgrim Archie Bunker.' We had just ambled through the Wampanoag village and watched a woman cooking with a clay pot, so Owen had indigenous people on his mind. He told Archie about his collection of Hopi and Navajo kachina dolls he started the previous summer when we went to the Grand Canyon. After an annoying back-and-forth in which Archie determined we apparently came from New Spain and were therefore suspected of Catholicism, we returned to the subject of kachinas. Archie backed away from Owen and asked if if they were poppets. No, Owen said, 'Not puppets–wood carvings.' I told him a poppet is a doll used in witchcraft. 'You know, like when Scooby Doo goes to Salem.' Owen shook his head at Archie and said, 'Kachinas are gods, Hopi and Navajo gods.' Archie poined his finger at Owen's chest and raised his voice, 'Not the true God Jesus Christ!' Then he told Owen he's never shot an Indian personally but he wouldn't lose any sleep over it if he did, and that he would trade with the Indians, though he would never give them anything of value, perhaps 'a pot that was full of holes.' Then my sister grabbed Owen by the arm and said, 'Come on, Owen. Let's get out of here before Mama punches a Pilgrim.
Reading Sarah Vowell gives me a little more hope in the world. With my snarky, sarcastic background, mixed with a passion for history and politics, it's nice to know that there is someone out there who absolutely gets it 100% in writing, and can do it well.
But, dang it Sarah, you beat me to it. Now I have to find another dream to dream…
seriously?
OK… this story was absolutely too hilarious NOT to share. How could anyone be THIS out of touch in society, especially when you LIVE in Washington, D.C., the city of politics…
Who’s that man?: Obama asked for ID at gym
By Kris Kitto Posted: 06/27/08 02:13 PM [ET]Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) may have one of the best-known faces in the world, but that doesn’t mean he is recognized everywhere, even in Washington.
Washington Sports Club employee Takehia Wheeler was manning the front desk to scan members’ identification cards Friday morning when the presidential candidate walked in with his entourage. The gym opened a month ago in the Columbia Heights district.
“He came in and walked past me,” Wheeler told In The Know. “I was like, ‘Sir, you need to come back.’ ”
Wheeler said Obama looked familiar, but she didn’t recognize him. So she asked for his ID card.
“I said, ‘What’s your last name?’ He said ‘Obama,’ ” Wheeler explained. “I said, ‘So what’s your first name?”
Then she laughed because it was at that point that Wheeler realized who she was talking to. How did she make amends? By saying, “Sorry, Mr. Future President!”
She wasn’t alone in not recognizing Obama. Trainer Drew McNeil wasn’t sure either.
“I was training right next to him, and I was like, ‘That looks like Obama,’ ” he said.
Obama brought his security detail along. Gym staff said Obama stayed for 20 minutes.
They said he has a membership to the citywide gym network, with his home gym at the Gallery Place/Chinatown location.
Wow… just wow. There are no words that can really… yeah. I'm done.
getting a big head
So, my friend Shope saw this the other day going down the interstate through Birmingham. While it's not her picture, she did find it, and I just had to share it, because it's hilarious.
Because, seriously, what the crap do you do if you're traveling and you wake up to this? Do you wonder if the person you're traveling with has just taken you to Oz or Wonderland? Or that you're still dreaming? This is just insanely weird. And as we were all talking about it, we couldn't figure out what or why, or how. There were so many questions, we felt that our brain would fry.
But, the biggest question is this: why on earth would anyone allow a giant head of themselves to be created? If this were me, someone would SOOOOO be fired.
you’re not joking?
So, lately the buzz (and snickering) around Birmingham has been about Mayor Larry Langford's proposal to the City Council to present the City of Birmingham as a site for the 2020 Olympic Games. No, seriously… he really did. And this is exactly why we're all still laughing.
Apparently, he believes that since he's pushing for the dome stadium (that we are still unsure will be built… and why, too), and for an olympic-size pool (for what reason, might I ask?), Langford believes that we would be a perfect place. Besides, we held the soccer events for the 1996 Atlanta Games, so that makes us ready, right? I mean, since our air traffic is about to be possibly severely reduced, it makes complete sense… 
What I love is that, according to Musings on Birmingham, Langford prefaced the proposal with: “This is not a game or a joke." Again, seriously??? If you have to say that, shouldn't you reconsider it altogether? If you know they're gonna laugh and giggle, you should know it's a bad idea. I mean, this is SO out in left field, it's not even funny.
Yes, Birmingham needs some good positive PR and something good for the economy, but having to put millions (probably billions) of dollars into building for the Olympic games when the city is already in debt in so many areas is SUCH a bad idea. And, if people are already upset with Beijing's pollution problem, I can't imagine what they will think about Birmingham's smog and ill-consideration for a greener city.
However, maybe I'm skeptical, because there are some like Musings and Andre over at the Terminal who think that a push like this could be good for Birmingham. I suppose it could be a good thing for Birmingham… I've just seen things continually flop that we thought were good ideas. See: Birmingham Fire, Birmingham Stallions, Birmingham Bulls, Alabama Slammers… and that's just the professional sports realm. The only things that work here in the state are college sports and racing. I could go on, but I don't have the time or the desire to be negative. I want to see Birmingham get out of its rut. I'm just not sure that the Olympics are the way to go.
transformers
When I was a kid, I used to watch the show "Transformers" religiously. The theme song had the line: "more than meets the eye." Today, fellow friend and blogger Shope shared a link to Face of the Future, where you can upload a photo and point out specific points and then transform the photo into different ethnicities, age ranges, or even artistic methods. It's so much fun! Below are the interpretations of my portrait into a few famous artists of the past.
Botticelli:
Modigliani:
…if only other things in life worked so easily.
ikea
Shopping at Ikea is like returning to therapy:
It feels like the right thing to to do, but then you get there and realize you aren’t adequately emotionally prepared.
how to hire a woman
One of my friends, SR, sent me a newspaper clipping a while back that I lost in my inbox for a while that I came across a few days ago. I thought I would share it. It is absolutely too hysterical!
It's the 1943 Guide to Hiring Women, furnished by the July 1943 issue of the Transportation Magazine. It covers all guidelines that male employers should follow when considering females for employment. It's rather amusing.
Following are a shortened version of the 11 guidelines:
- Pick young married women. Why? They have fewer responsibilities (editorial: and, duh, you don't have to deal with their husbands).
- When choosing older women, try to find those who have outside-of-the-home experience.
- Choose a "husky" girl… they are more "temperamental."
- Have a physician on staff, especially for "female conditions."
- Stress the importance of time strictness and schedules.
- Give female employees to-do lists for the entire day so they will not have to bother the management.
- Allow inside females to change jobs from time to time… they'll be happier.
- Provide females with rest periods throughout the day. Allowing her to reapply lipstick and wash her hands can maintain her confidence level.
- Be tactful with instruction or criticism due to women's sensitivity levels; ridicule can interrupt efficiency.
- Do not swear around women. Their ears are sensitive, and their men do not appreciate it. Plus, they may grow to dislike their job.
- Make sure each woman's unifom fits properly to keep her happy.
The full article can be found here in its original form. Enjoy… and happy hiring!
