government lessons
Bureaucracy sometimes is a beautiful thing. Of course, I'm being sarcastic, are you kidding? There's nothing worse than having to sit around in an office waiting to do something that would be so much easier to do online. Enter the Social Security Administration and the adventure of a new social security card.
This isn't the first time I've had to do this. I had to apply for a new one in October of last year, in order to take care of my DC registration. It was my first replacement ever from the one I had from birth. However, during the move from DC to Birmingham, it's been put away in a box, and I'm not really sure which one. And, Alabama is a little crazed with the new hire forms and verifying social security numbers with cards (which I've not had to do, this is a new thing… but maybe it's because this is a state job). So, instead of tearing apart every box in storage that I have to find it and making an utter mess in the possibility that I might have lost it, I figured it would be just as easy to reapply for a replacement card.
Now, the downtown office was a madhouse yesterday. So, I opted for the Birmingham "East" office. It was quite a change from the office in DC. In DC, I was the ONLY "white (not hispanic)" person in the place. And everyone was there to do what they needed to, no one talked, and everyone looked hacked off while we were there. But, in the Birmingham-East SSA office, I'm pretty sure every area in state of Alabama made sure to send representation. And what did I do? I sat back and watched… and took in some life lessons.
As the scary looking man that looked like he could kill me, whose fingernails were longer than mine, kept staring at me, this cute, little African-American boy was singing songs into the bottom of his grandmother's cane. The scary man's woman had her kid's names tattooed on her left arm, in about 36 pt font, horizontally, perfectly readable and in flowy cursive. Names like Perthashia and Jameem. I was just amazed at how large the tattoos. Down the row from those folks were an Asian couple that had just gotten married that couldn't keep their hands off each other. And she had some bling on that left hand. A few rows back was an Army man in his fatigues, sitting with his Army son, in jeans and a tight tee, discussing something that had been stolen the night before, apparently while the son had been partying. How do I know the son was Army? When you live in DC and you have family that is Army, you learn to know who's young and within their first few years. A few seats down from them, high-school aged teens, brother and sister, fighting and punching each other. Behind them was a family from the sticks… the wife looked like she was probably on meth, the dad looked high, and the dirty, barefoot kids were running around without any supervision… and as their, albeit cute, little, chubby boy (about 3 years old AND with a pacifier) was about to run out the door, the dad (too lazy to get up) simply yells, "GAGE!" I'm wondering if he's named the kid after a truck or a shotgun. Friends have mentioned that he's possibly named after the kid from the movie "Pet Sematary."
Luckily, my name was called about 2 minutes after the "GAGE!" moment. All this in about 30 minutes. The only part that was comforting was the American-Idol-to-Be singing into the bottom of the cane.
Things running through my head during my experience today at the SSA:B-E…
- If you name your child after a gun, a truck, or a horror film, I will judge you.
- If you want to tattoo your child's name in a font bigger than 10 pt, put it somewhere that I can't (and won't) see it.
- If you look like you're from the movie "Deliverance," I really want to yell "I Hear Banjos!"
- Men, you're not meant to have long fingernails. Leave it to the women.
- Hey, new couple, mazel! But, c'mon… we were about to puke.
- Excuse me, Officer and Son, I don't know what was stolen, but everyone knows about it now, and God forbid that you ever have to talk about a classified mission, because you sir, will fail miserably.
- Also, if you name your child after a gun, a truck, or a horror film, I will judge you. Yes, I felt the need to repeat.
Color me Judgy McJudgerson all you want. But, this is exactly why you should give people that feel like Yankees in the South an option for bureaucracy online instead of having to sit around in an office. This is the result.
I love the South, but after that experience… seriously, paddle faster. I heard banjos.
a step in the right direction
Well, long before I expected it, I will (pending the completion of the paperwork and the verification of my transcripts) begin teaching on the community college level. It's an emergency situation for the school, since the semester is beginning in less than a month. My predecessor was a colleague from grad school, and gave me as his recommendation for the position. Strangely enough, as I went in for what I considered my first interview, I walked out with the textbook, the instructor's manual, and sample syllabi to help me construct my own, in addition to the class schedules. So, I'll be teaching two classes per week, Western Civ I and Western Civ II, on the same days, so I only have to commute twice, which is great. It's a fantastic opportunity, and the History Department Chair has offered herself to help out whenever I need, since I'm learning.
It's quite amazing… especially for the situation, since they had to find someone. I had to find a job. And this one was RIGHT up my alley. I can't put into words how exciting it is! I'm nervous as all get-out, since my predecessor is practically brilliant. I hope I don't let him OR the department chair down.
Here's to learning experiences, new adventures, and steps toward my big goals in life. Now just to get that Ph.D. program under my belt.
laughter is the best medicine
Since the last two weeks were a little rough (and hot as hades here in the deep South), this week, the Goalie and I sat down to watch a few humorous YouTube videos. However, it all started from the last post about the infamous hockey be with the Goalie (of which he's still taunting me about, even in the comments of my own blog). He laughed hysterically about the Bruins "Don't Date Within the Division" commercial, which he had apparently missed at some point along the way (and he calls himself a B's fan… psh).
The one commercial turned into the entire series of the Bruins' playoff spots, and then as I was browsing through my favorites, I remembered one of the funniest videoes that I had seen in a LONG time. Now, it's debated on whether or not the guy actually does have a medical condition, or whether he's faking it, but holy crap, it's funny. And seriously, the Goalie and I were laughing so hard, I was crying. Here's a best-of clip so you get a taste of it:
And then we swapped over to MY favorite YouTube video which had me laughing so hard that I was in tears and my sides were hurting… Not quite the same as the Tourette's guy, but oh wow, it's cute AND giggly.
And of course, the video that makes me giggle and think: "You stupid kid, but I love you because of your stinkin' cute British accent. Plus, your chubby little brother is adorable."
So, we spent an entire afternoon laughing… and laughing… and laughing some more. Who says laughter isn't good for the soul? I think it's perfect. I'd have any day just like that, because the laughter made me keep giggling too, even if it had been rainy and gloomy outside.
Oh, and believe me… There are so many Tourette's Guy video jokes one-liners made amidst conversation between the Goalie and I to try to break the serious moods sometimes, it's not funny. But, it cracks me up. Anyone who can yell "Bob Saget!" anytime something goes wrong gets points for hilarity and originality in my book.
is it october yet?
In the hockey off-season, fans do some incredible things. Some visit Montreal to go to the draft. Others join in UFA/RFA prediction contests (yes, I'm one, and I'm losing). Almost everyone goes nuts on July 1 on the opening of Free Agency (let the frenzy begin!).
What did I do? Apparently, I jumped ship in a strange, dramatic way. I moved to Alabama… quite possibly the most unrelated place to hockey. Down in Alabama, they worship college football 365 days a year, and attend football games more frequently than church. But, instead of joining the craze, which I do have a team from living here before, I still continued my love for hockey. Less than 2 weeks after I had returned, I met another hockey fan… and not just someone who knew about the Red Wings playing in the Stanley Cup. This guy had PLAYED hockey. Enter: the Goalie.
The Goalie is from Boston, making him a Bruins fan by nature, but an even bigger Red Sox fan. I kid with him all the time, but it's quite similar to the life of the move "Fever Pitch." He knows his players, their lives, and he gets sentimental when he's talking about Fenway Park. It's quite adorable. And while my team, the St. Louis Cardinals, lost to the Sox in 2004 in the World Series, I let him have his fervor for baseball… I just don't like to talk about that year… even if everyone in the entire country was cheering on the Sox. Probably even the Cardinals, just to break the streak.
We talk hockey smack all the time, and he's been amazed that I've followed the free agency. In fact, I've been sending him info since the trades began over text messages and phone calls. But, the worst news ever came a fews days ago when I found out about the opening game of the season for MY TEAM… the Capitals take on the Boston Bruins… in the Garden. This is gonna get interesting.
The Boston Bruins made a commercial about dating within hockey during their playoff run this past season. It's one of the funniest hockey commercials I've seen.
Luckily, the Caps AREN'T in the same division as the B's, but they are in the same conference, which also means that they can't play each other for the Stanley Cup. But, I'm getting ahead of myself…
Since the initial game of the season is both of our teams against each other, we thought we'd make a small bet. Pending the winner, the other has to face the humiliation. If the Caps win, the Goalie has to wear my old Caps jersey on a visit TO BOSTON. If the Bruins win, I have to wear one of his B's jerseys on a visit TO D.C. Either way, one of us is gonna look like an idiot. I'm just hoping since he's a funny guy that it's him, and not me. If I have to wear a B's jersey in D.C., it'll be on top of a burka. But, a bet is a bet, right?
So, with that… is it October yet??? Because I need a good Caps road win to start the season off right! 
UPDATE (8/11/2009): All bets are off.
gimme s’more summertime
I've been baking quite a bit more lately. My guess is that it's probably because I no longer have a stove that barely functions and is barely larger in surface area than a dining room chair. Also, can I just say that I *adore* kitchen space and counter tops?
Since hockey season is in "off-season" and the free agency frenzy is anything but right now, I'm trying to pass time with more reading, studying, and of course baking. I made 2 batches of brownies last week, which were devoured quite quickly. So this week, I decided to take on some cupcakes since the Goalie loves cupcakes (BTW, if you don't know who the Goalie is, I'll tell more soon). I was gonna make a Paula Deen recipe for Peanut Butter Chip Brownie Cupcakes. However, there were no PB Chips.
So then, I got it! I could make s'more brownie cupcakes! But then I got a little baffled about how to keep the middle graham cracker from absolutely making the person feeling like they ate sand or a spoonful of cinnamon. So, to remedy my earlier PB fiasco, I melted just a bit of PB and added it to the graham cracker bits. Then, combined with a half-jumbo-puffed marshmallow, I completed my fantastic (and really rich) Peanut Butter S'more Cupcakes.
The final result is a cupcake that was so incredibly rich that you can only eat one within a few hours. But, they're amazing, and were a big hit!!
a spot of tea
In the trend of the oldest child, I don't like to follow the mainstream at times. For the Fourth of July, and as a true historian, I was patriotic to the best of means (and not in redneck fashion). I spent the day with family, and watched "A Capitol Fourth" on PBS (where some of my government funds are best spent), and gazed into the HDTV as the fireworks exploded over the most amazing city I know: Washington, D.C. It was at that moment, upon hearing the fife and drum corps of the United States Army playing along before the National Symphony Orchestra pronounced the finale with the 1812 Overture, I felt the most patriotic I had in years. I remembered a line from the musical, "1776," when John Adams (Fee-hee-hee-heeeeny) sang about how fireworks would proclaim the birthday of the new nation that was hatching on the eve of July 4, 1776.
Of course, since I thought about the musical, days later (read: last night), I watched the movie form of it. I love how they portray the characters. Most people think they are being comical… but in historical memory and readings, it's hilarious that they are almost true to form. The playful Franklin, the uptight Adams, the thoughtful Jefferson, and of course New York who confounds us all. As soon as I finished "1776," I immediately sought out my "John Adams" series since I had Mr. Adams on the brain ("Mr. Adams, leave me aloooooone!"). And the rumblings of rebellion and murmurings of "taxation without representation" got me to thinking.
On the Fourth of July in Alabama, a small group of conservatives chose to gather to voice their opinions about taxation, and have what has been recently called "Tea Parties." Now, pardon me for just a second, if you will… pretend that you're one of those people, and maybe you are. I might like to ask you just a few questions. Do you have a representative in Congress? Can that representative speak on your districts behalf? Can your representative acquire funds for your district for road repairs and other various projects for your area and/or state? Now, my guess is that your answer to that is a yes to each of those questions, and if you were to say no, I'd challenge your answer.
These same people with refutable representatives, who ARE and have been elected by the people, DO represent the people of Alabama. However, the constituents of these elected officials are holding "tea parties" in which they claim they are being "taxed without representation." And WHY do they feel they are being taxed without representation? Because their party isn't in office.
Dear people of Alabama who don't understand this concept… let me tell you what it REALLY means. As a legal resident of the District of Columbia [yes, still... my license still states it], you should know that "taxation without representation" is not held lightly in the District. We place it on our license plates for a reason. It is the ONLY remaining area within the landlocked states that is YET to be declared a state, and has YET to be given a representative with VOTING rights on the house floor, and still has to ask Congress to do anything. We don't have a Governor, we have a Mayor… and that Mayor has very little power, since the President is just down the street. That Mayor is under the authority of the Vice President. Anything the Mayor wishes to do has to have the release of the VP and Congress. A million people live within a 6+ square mile area, and we are held to every federal tax that any other American is in the country. And yet in DC, residents also have to give way to anything federal, because it is first and foremost beyond any resident. So, fair Alabamian… if you really want to tell ME that you are taxed without representation because your party didn't get into office, be prepared for a lecture in American and DC history. Unless you've either lived in DC (or the colonies, and I'm pretty sure they've died off by now), don't you DARE tell me that you understand what it's like to be taxed unfairly. Until you can't call your congressperson and complain only to hear that person say they can't do anything because they can't speak on the floor, then get over it.
Also [if you've made it this far], should I remind you that the "Tea Party" in Boston in the colonial days were conjured up by yes, Patriots. But, in that day, they were considered liberals. They were against the ebb and flow. They were the ones strayed from the "right." So, please, for the love of history, don't destroy the beautiful imagery of what our founding father created only to saturate it with protests that don't get anything done. Children and teenagers these days need history that is passionate, and protests like the modern-day tea parties are nothing but a joke that makes history less poignant.
