floating
'Start your ignition. Begin your journey and do not skip ahead.' -'Elizabethtown'
I tend to watch this movie about once a month… It's one of my favorites. It has jewels of wisdom throughout, the soundtrack is amazing, and it has a cameo of Paula Deen, which every Southerner can appreciate. 
However, lately, I've had so much going on that I've decided that I'm tired of always feeling like I should map out every single solitary thing that comes on my plate. I'm jealous of people that get to float through life. Yeah, yeah, it's part of my personality to be pretty Type A and organized, but come on! For once, I'd like to just walk and let the journey take me… and not the other way around. So, I've decided to do that. Because, really, I don't really want to know the entire ending, I do like surprises… or at least the good ones.
Now, while I'm in the middle of that, I'm finding it's one of the hardest things to do. Of course, it's probably not for the normal floaters. But for those that like to have some control over their environment or schedule, I don't like not knowing what tomorrow may or may not bring… especially when the checkbook gets tight. I have to remember that money doesn't rule the world, though. Times like these make me want to be more like my friend Deb, whose life-long dream is to move to Haiti and rock babies to sleep. No frills, no fuss… just her dream.
In the midst of my traveling on my journey toward finding what I truly want to do, I'm always pulled by so many sides. I have friends and family that want me to stay in one place or another for this reason or that reason. Money ALWAYS comes up, and it's usually cheaper to be in one place over another. Then, there's the issue of safety, distance, blah, blah, blah. But, then there is the age-old advice, also given by my friend Deb: follow your heart.
As I'm trying to follow my heart, the only question in the back of my mind is if my journey will also listen to my heart… my mind and my heart are in sync. Now if the path and the opportunities line up, my ducks will be in a row, and all will be at peace. And, to be perfectly honest, that's all I really want… because to me, floating is equivalent to feeling at peace.
tourists… oy.
So, I know I don't live in D.C. anymore… But, I'm currently visiting "home." I'll write about my total trip when I get back to Alabama and post a roundup. But, today, I had an experience that completely rattled my cage, and I have to vent.
I love going to see many of the "tourist traps," because they are some of my favorite places, and I don't usually mind tourists. Yeah, they hold up traffic, bottleneck the Metro, and for the most part, just get in the way. However, today, I had the most fortunate opportunity to see my 20-year-old cousin, who is a member of the Honor Guard at Arlington Cemetery, perform a 21-gun salute. As I headed out toward his mission spot, the funeral that he was assisting was one of about 8 that I saw during the 3pm hour. When you enter the Arlington Cemetery, there are NUMEROUS signs that ask you to show respect and maintain silence… After all, it may be a national historic site with the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and the gravesite of JFK, but it is STILL a cemetery… a place where MANY people are buried, and many CONTINUE to go and pay their respects all over the lots, and many are dressed in funeral attire, as multiple funerals occur on the hour almost every hour at Arlington. Knowing this, it absolutely aggravates me to oblivion to see this punk kids and brats jumping around yelling without any respect or consideration for not only those buried there, but for those who are visiting graves outside of the tourists. Yes, you might be so cool to see the Changing of the Guard, and it is amazing to watch, but for the love, have some consideration for those mourning the loss of their sons, daughters, husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, or other family members that just left funerals and are leaving the grounds. Quit acting like you're the only ones there and that it isn't sacred ground.
If you can't do that, I hope their ghosts haunt you the rest of your life… You deserve it. Learn how to respect a grave site.
major breather
Well, the semester is over. Finally… Now, I get to stress over several things that came up during the semester that I didn't have time to do.
First of all, work. I had an amazing job working with an historical collections unit on a rotation. Unfortunately, under many circumstances, the top two being money and hours, I needed to move on to another position. I thought that I'd quickly be able to find something part-time around town. Little did I know that the gods were laughing at me… loudly. So, I'm still looking for a job, and for another reason, there's got to be more than just part-time go-along-with-school hours.
The one thing the federal government lending firms never tell you is that if your parents take out a direct loan from the government (no matter how little or how much), your loan is automatically capped. It has remained the same amount for about 15 years (regardless of how much tuition has risen in the last few years alone). Well, I've reached that cap. I'm completely maxed out on any federal direct loans for my education. What bugs me the most about the entire situation is that 1) they never tell you that you have a cap at any point, and 2) they never gave me ANY warning that I was near, and about to lose my money. So, I, just like the rest of the country, have gotten screwed over by the government.
During the semester, I've had so much reading and writing going on that I have completely not cleaned like I should. I've straightened, and cleaned when absolutely necessary, but not like I wanted to clean. Yesterday, I washed my car and cleaned and vacuumed it. Today, I cleaned my bathroom, and rearranged my bookshelf and cleaned up my floor around my couch and put my files together to start filing sometime later this week. I vacuumed the couch and the papasan and the floors, and dusted. It's so clean around here. Of course, my desk is still a mess, and I've got tons of filing to do. I've still got lots of work to do around the house, but I knocked out a bunch today, and I feel so much better. Now if everything else will work out.
So, now, there are only 9 hours remaining on my graduate calendar in order to complete graduate school. If I can find some kind of work around here, I can take a class this summer and make it 6.
What's next? I'm not sure. For the first time ever, I don't really have a plan. What was once planned as a vacation next week now contains a few job interviews amidst my friend time. I'm usually the girl with everything planned out. Unfortunately, everything went out of control, and now I have no clue what to do with it all. We'll see what happens with it all.
