get over it
“Remember, this is a state that started the Civil War.”
–SC GOP Chair Katon Dawson, on not allowing FL to leapfrog SC’s primary, Washington Times
Seriously, people… it was the Civil War. Get over it. Just because another southern state is considering something along the same lines does NOT mean that you should always reflect on the how you started something first.
…By the way South Carolina, you fired the first shot, yes. But, let’s not get too hasty. You took the glory away from Alabama when you seceeded… it was Alabama’s idea in the first place.
…And, let me also remind those not as informed, the Civil War was not a racial or slavery-based decision. It was a matter of constitutionality of what the Union was trying to do.
If only people would learn their history, and make decisions based on it, instead of trying to follow it or recreating it. I’m talking to you, South Carolina.
wanna-be like ‘w’
“The message is that there are known knowns – things we know that we know. There are known unknowns – that is to say that there are things we now know we don’t know. And then there are unknown unknowns – things we do not know we don’t know. So we do the best we can and we pull all this information together, and that is basically what we see as the situation – that is really the known knowns and the known unknowns.”
-Donald Rumsfeld
the double negative
There’s no better way to describe the inefficiency of our president’s grammar than to just show it to the masses.
That’s right kids… ‘Success is not no violence.’ Now for the terminology of the newest Webster’s Dictionary, I suggest the phrase of ‘relative peace’ to mean that of not only ‘not no violence,’ but it’s correct term: violence.
Ah, Mr. President… your words will continue to forever amuse me… and millions of Americans.
the southern qualifications
1.What part of the South are you from?
Blount County, Alabama… just north of Birmingham
2. When is the last time you were there?
Christmas
3. Have you ever dated one of your cousins?
Yeah, that’s not Alabama… that’s more like Kentucky or West Virginia
4. Have you ever visited neighbors barefoot?
Heck yes… I LOVE being barefoot, which is why my favorite shoes are flip-flops.
5. Do you know anyone in the Ku Klux Klan?
Not personally… but, sadly, they still exist.
6.Would you leave the South?
Yes… already have. And, I’m undecided about my stay out of it.
7. Did you grow up in a trailer?
Nope… the White House… well, that’s what we called it.
8. Did you graduate High School?
Yes… Advanced Academic. Yee-haw!
9. Do you believe in God?
God, yes… organized religion, sometimes.
10. How old were you when you went fishing for the first time?
We had a cabin on the lake… I have no idea how old I was… young, that’s for sure.
11. Have you ever been hunting?
Nope… and I refuse.
12. How often do you drink sweet tea?
All the time… but these days, it’s a healthier version, with Splenda.
13. Do you own a confederate flag?
Nope… that’s history, and where it should stay.
14. You hangout in walmart for fun?
NO!!!! I hate the Wal-Mart.
15. Have you ever stolen a road sign?
No, but I once watched friends do it.
16. Have you ever milked a cow?
No, and still don’t want to do that.
17. Are you under 30 with 4 or more children?
Nope… I’m one of the ‘weird’ ones. No kids, no husband, nothing owned… but, I owe a lot!
18. Have you ever killed an animal for dinner?
Do fish count?
19. Are you for the death penalty?
No thank you… we are not the judge of man.
20. Do you own a gun?
No, and I don’t intend to get one.
21. Do you sleep with it under your pillow?
What did I just say???
22. Do you have a member of the family referred to as Bubba?
Nope.
23. Do you dip tobacco?
Ewww, gross.
24. Do you eat grits?
Heck yes… butter and salt. (Don’t be fooled, the sugar fans are not really southern.)
Apparently, I’m not as Southern as the quiz would assume. I’m just a weird one. 
going home without leaving the area
I experienced a mind-blowing, heart-wrenching exhibit last weekend. It was by an Alabama artist/photographer named William Christenberry. Above the title of his exhibit “Passing Time” was the following quote:
I left Alabama in 1961 and never went back to live. Not because I don’t like it, but because living outside it, I can see it more objectively.
The exhibit contained photographs of landmarks that I’ve visited, seen, or heard of by friends and family. While I was viewing the exhibit (I spent an hour of my 4 hours at the National Portrait Gallery), I found myself back home… surreal… I didn’t feel like I was 14 hours away from family, friends, good food, and laughter. And for a moment, I cried… not sad tears, but tears of gladness. It was amazing to be right in the middle of something that someone else shared my experiences.
I like to think that Alabama and I have a love-hate relationship. I love where I grew up… I love my family, my friends… I love the smell of cut grass everywhere, the sight of trees (tons of them), and the feeling of diving into the lake that I’ve swam in for most of my life. The part of Alabama that I hate involves nothing of this.
The part of Alabama that I quickly left behind is its inability to grasp its own rich history. No, it’s not great that the cities of Birmingham, Selma, Tuscaloosa, or Montgomery were involved in a bitter and brutal civil rights debacle. But, it is beyond time to accept that those actions were wrong, and try to make it right. The state has had chances to remove segregationist language from the constitution time and time again, but the state legislators refuse to change it because they are afraid their property tax (which is by far the cheapest in the country) might raise a few dollars a year. It’s time for the state and its citizens to change it, and thankfully, some are, because of the work of Mark Berte and the Alabama Citizens for Constitutional Reform.
I agree with Mr. Christenberry when he said that he can be more objective outside of the state. I miss the state… I wish I could visit more… with friends, family, places dear to my heart. Most of the books that I have read since I left involve Alabama in some historical regard. And, while it took me a few months to realize after I left, I am proud when people identify my accent and know that I am from the Deep South.
But, just remember… while I love my heritage and my roots, I don’t approve of hatred, bigotry, or racism. And, I’m thrilled to learn of new generations that are refusing to accept the former status quo, and are going beyond themselves to make a state that is united and progressive… and realizes that there is a long road ahead, but it can be a powerful road to overcome.
