undefining love
last night i actually got to go to bed when i wanted to, and not when i got done with stuff. i think my head hit the pillow around 10 p.m., and lemme tell you, it was absolute heaven. and to add, i never heard the storm last night. i remember dreaming, but i have no clue what about. i did this morning, but i didn't retrace it before breakfast, so it's long gone. too bad. i remember it being interesting.
'five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes… how do you measure a year? measure it in love…'
i've grabbed onto an insatiable love for history. it's disgusting really. i don't know how i did it, but i did. today when i turned in my take home western civ exam, we sat and talked about history and teaching. she did encourage me to keep up the job i'm doing, with both full time classes and work. that made me feel so much better.
i've missed my friends a lot lately. i guess it's because i have been so consumed with school when i get off work. i feel like such a horrible friend. but, no matter what i haven't stopped thinking about them. in all seriousness, i can't wait until i get done with my undergrad so i can relax a bit. sure, sure, people say to do it now and take a break, but i'm seriously afraid that i'll be too lax about it and not finish, or take even longer. come on, i'll be 26 when i graduate in december. i actually turn 26 the day before. is that sad or what? if i didn't already feel bad about being 25 and still working on my undergrad, that makes the whole thing even worse. but it's ok i guess… at least i'm gonna finish it. it will have been a long and wise journey to this point.
<lj-cut text="convergence pics">they put up pictures from convergence the other day… here are a few highlights:
the slide… happiness shown here by kelly, me and eanes
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v178/DMCemily/convergence/meontheslide.jpg">
as well as being enjoyed by marly and holly
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v178/DMCemily/convergence/marlyandhollyonslide.jpg">
everyone loves a little impromptu 'buttercup'
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v178/DMCemily/convergence/buttercup.jpg">
one of the altars from the weekend
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v178/DMCemily/convergence/altar.jpg">
seriously, we were a bunch of kids on that slide. it was great. you can check out more of the <a href="http://share.shutterfly.com/action/share/view?i=EeAMWLRmyZsnDjo&pg=1&sm=0&sl=0">slide pictures here</a> if you want (pages 2 and 3).
</lj-cut>
today i've been really task-oriented. i mean, it's not any different than any other day, but today i don't have people swarming around. it's just me and the mac today. i've turned in a final, finished 2 study guides and did 2 outlines for 2 other take-home finals, and gathered info for the 2 papers for con law. i decided to bust it today so that i can rest at the beginning of next week.
ok, so here's a question that i need replies and opinions on. next thursday i fly out to d.c. for a long weekend. where should i go? give me some ideas or places that you've loved, or places to avoid (with a reason why please!). we were going to new york for a day, but with the trains out, it's way too expensive to go for now, so we (me, katie and mollie) are going up after graduation in december. but, i do know, i'm getting to see 'beauty and the beast' while i'm in d.c. katie & david, my gracious hosts, both play for the orchestra at the venue. i can't wait. it's so cool to know some insiders. 
plus, i'm thrilled to get to go to the national cathedral next sunday. it's almost here!
'when everything looks pretty, it's easy to think that you've found the way, but it's all just a big masquerade…' -caedmon's
liberal it is, please.
hahahahahahahaha. this is funny. and awesome.
<p><table width='75%' border=1 cellpadding=8 align=center><tr><td valign=middle bgcolor='#FFFFFF'><center><b><font face='Arial,Helvetica'><!–
–><font size='+2' color='#0000C0'><i>I am</i>:</font><br><font size='+4' color='#C00000'>16%</font><br><font size='+2' color='#0000C0'>Republican.</font></font><!–
–></b></center></td><td align=left valign=middle bgcolor='#FFFFFF'><blockquote><font size='+1' face='Times New Roman,Times' color='#000000'><!–
–>"You're a tax-and-spend liberal democrat. People like you are the reason everyone else votes for guys like Reagan or George W."<!–
–></font></blockquote></td></tr></table><br><center><b><a href='http://paulkienitz.net/republican.html'>Are You A Republican?</a></b></center>
a summary…
so i got the chance to go to the birmingham country club for lunch today, as we were celebrated administrative support professionals day for us today instead of yesterday's proper day. oh well… it was great just not having to buy lunch. speaking of proper though, i felt so out of place there. i guess i'm just not doomed for that kind of life. and seriously, i'm ok with that. who would want to be that highly maintenanced? not me, i say.
the food was good. maybe too good though. because i don't eat a lot of white flour-y stuff or sugar, the cinnamon rolls and the bread pudding with heavy cream sauce (you could seriously taste way too much bourbon) may have been a bad idea. actually, may isn't even a chance… it WAS. now i don't feel so good.
i've finally come to grips with an issue that i've had in my face for the past 2 weeks. a.d.d. yeah, i was diagnosed at the beginning of last week. i think the fact that i'm 25 and have a.d.d. is bad enough. but then when i went to get my prescription filled, i asked about side-effects to be looking for (being a good patient and all), and she started telling me that my child will experience all these different things. i quickly told her that it was for me. after an apology, i couldn't help but be sarcastic (and a little hurt) and say, 'that's ok… thanks for making me feel even better about being 25 and a.d.d.' she kept apologizing, but i grew impatient, and just told her to tell me the side-effects. i didn't mean to be rude, which i probably was, but i was, and still am a little sensitive about it. but being on meds for a week, i've noticed a difference. the only bad thing is that my mind is now programmed to seriously focus on things i need to do. so, there's a good chance i've now thrown the concept of multi-tasking out the window. that's a shame too. i used to be so good at it.
i get to see the new conference center tomorrow, due to a meeting with all the good news a.v. folks that jwood and i will be working with at the youth annual conference rally. fun stuff, right? yeah… you know it.
ok, that's really all i have for today… except for an addition to yesterday's story. on the way home, at around 11 p.m., i saw a grown man in his 50s walking down the road fully decked out in a baseball uniform, cleats and all. it was really disturbing, and it made me want to move from the neighborhood. no one wants middle-aged crazies like that walking around. he had to be crazy… there are no little league games that last that late on a tuesday night.
i'm off to turn in my final.
a night in chicago.
well, one final down. 5 to go. woohoo, right? yeah, no.
<lj-cut text="rendezvous in the city of jazz and liquor">last night, i went to chicago, where murder is a form of entertainment. it was fantastic. some parts i liked the movie better, but some of the musical i liked better. especially the horrific revelation of mary sunshine! haha. that was so great.
anyways, it was so strange last night though. deb and i went. first of all, we got awesome seats in the orchestra for $22/piece. i couldn't believe it. apparently the student discount is $30 off. that's impressive. so we're sitting there waiting for it to begin, and we see ann horton. this freaks me out. i've never seen her off of camp grounds… not even annual conference. she sees us and says hi. then she proceeds to tell me that i look very different than i did at camp. thanks ann for telling me i look like crap at camp. or is it the other way around? do i look like crap at work? that could be scary…
so intermission comes, and we look down the aisle. nina's there. we go say hi, and she's down there talking to the bishop. i said hi… and the bish actually remembered who i was. that was so cool. now, i'm so glad that i didn't send him the email i had planned on sending him about his q&a session this weekend. maybe i'll wait a few days before i send it. i don't want to blacklist myself. yet. regardless, it was a weird phenomenon. shope today said that if someone were to bomb the bjcc, sumatanga might have gone into grave danger. if only i were that important… ha.</lj-cut>
tonight, i got an email from one of the pastors at canterbury, telling me that david crowder was the ugliest man alive. i was completely perplexed, until i got another email saying i had a comment. turns out, he read my lj tonight. that could make me feel a little strange. so i went back to see the ones that he could read. hmmm. i'm glad i didn't say anything bad about work, or that i don't usually say anything bad about work. but, good thing that he's one of my favorites. i'll have to give him a hard time tomorrow though.
tomorrow should be fun… work, turn in a final, i think we have a convergence meeting maybe?, jenny's recital, fun times… good people are on the books tomorrow.
speaking of good people (and even if brett already did it), happy birthday marly.
the problem with rain
one of the greatest problems in the world, nay, birmingham, are people who don't know how to drive. when you add a weather element, it becomes extreme driving with too many brake lights. that in itself created a bad mood to begin with today.
we had a funeral today at the church for a 17 year old girl. she committed suicide… and it was retaliation to her mom. around 800 students were at the funeral today. it was really solemn and uncomfortable walking around the building, like i didn't know what to say. probably because i didn't.
anyways. classes are done. now we just have finals left. 4 take homes, 2 in-class exams and 2 papers to write for extra credit (i've got to keep a C in con law one and two). and all of that will happen tomorrow night. because tonight, i'm going to chicago. it will be fantastic! of course, if it were flying or actually visiting a city, it'd be great. but the musical will be just as good. or at least i think so.
while i'm on hold for tickets, i keep getting reminded that bob dylan will be in concert at the hoover met. i want to go, but i have already committed that sunday i think. i don't know for sure the exact extent of my time that will be required, but i don't want to push it. call me responsible… oy.
i hate it when you have so much to think about. my head is full of things… i guess it's the buildup of thoughts without the ability to have time to express them to anyone over the past few weeks. and just when i got the guts to ask one question to get the thoughts going, apparently no one wants to talk about it. and by it, i mean theology. but, that's ok. i can be fine with that.
so what's going on in your world? i've been a horrible friend lately to far too many people, and this is my attempt to make up for it. it's lousy, but it's what i have right now… maybe one day my life will go back to normal.
ahh, who am i kidding… it never was to begin with.
so tell me.
camp always equals good…
and exhaustion.
i swear, i have muscles hurting that i didn't know existed. i think between the giant slide, the jousting, arena football thing and camp dancing, i completely ripped every muscle i have. i guess it was a good workout though…
i'm not gonna lie. i was a little disappointed in the bish though. i thought he woudl teach a little more… or at least seem prepared. he even dodged my question concerning universalism when it comes to evangelism. boy, that's a lot of ism's. he didn't even touch on it. of course, it could've pinned him as a theologian, but i just wanted some defining methodist discipline answers. maybe another day. regardless, tonight i'm constructing an email to him about some contradictions that i need clarification on. it could possibly blacklist me as a methodist, but i guess i can be ok with that. i just need some answers.
speaking of, lately i've been reflecting on the whole universalism scheme, the four views of hell, the christian's job of evangelism, etc, etc. today i was so deep in thought when driving back to work after lunch, that i didn't hear the radio until a certain song came on. it was dishwalla… 'tell me all your thoughts on God, cause i really want to meet her/him, and does he wonder who we are…' i thought it was interesting, and it made me want to know…
what are your thoughts on God? the spiritual life? or the non-existence of it? what makes you tick, or give you purpose? is it even God-related? i'm looking for real answers here… not your sunday school crap. lay it on me… define your theology. i'm trying to get a better well-rounded, and intentional response to it all, and i definitely don't want to go about it narrow-mindedly.
because after all, as wilco said, 'theologians, they don't know nothing about my soul.' but do you?
dddddaugh…
as john wesley felt hundreds of years ago, my heart is strangely warmed. i just don't know that it's jesus. it's definitely the feeling of stress away from the aortic valves. school, minus one class on monday and the finals (most of mine are take-home). it's such a great feeling. today we had short classes. my 2nd class at 5:30 was getting a study guide, and then we left. so i took it upon myself to go turn in my exam for my 7 p.m. class, and tell him that i didn't feel like staying that long for class. i had time to make it to the last convergence meeting that i was going to have to miss. then, my night became all about anything besides school.
<lj-cut text="and so the party begins">so i went to celebrate tonight. mary and i went to the met! the barons did suck it up tonight though. but it was $1 bevs & 20 cent wing night! that was enough to make anyone happy. baseball season always makes me happy. there's nothing like the sport. it's sitting outside in glorious weather, watching a game that requires no deep mental thought, hearing people go nuts, watching hecklers over the visiting team dugout, giggling at little kids and their grownup wannabe ways. plus, it's the perfect thing for someone with a.d.d. you don't have to seriously pay attention to anything. and it's ok if a conversation gets interrupted by a big play. it's expected. luckily, mary was gracious (thanks mary for going, you're so great!). while we watched baseball, sometimes we talked too much. but there were some interesting people there for sure! my favorite is the 20-something guy who literally came out of nowhere and fought it out for a foul ball, while on the phone. as he walked away, he totally pulled some kindergartener moves. it was hilarious! the only bad thing is that i totally forgot how far hoover was from here. it felt like i was driving to camp. but, thank heaven for baseball, and the sanity it brings. ok, enough of that…
</lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="and it's official">the bands have officially been announced for the <a href="http://www.schaeffercrawfishboil.com">crawfish boil '05</a>, may 13-14:
<strong>friday night</strong>
eliot morris
the duhks
blue merle
drivin n cryin
hootie and the blowfish
<strong>saturday</strong>
meteorite
downright
tonic
shinedown
seether
the wallflowers
man, oh man. eliot morris, downright, blue merle and the wallflowers, i can't wait. it will be a grand boil this year. and in all truth, it will be like old times hearing hootie. you just HAVE to go hear him, you know… bringing back the glorious days of 'time' and all the other songs that sound just like it. because you know that someone in 10 years will ask about that time that hootie played the crawfish boil. and you know you want to say, man, yeah, i was there. ha ha. i can't wait… it should be good stuff. and, don't forget the reason it's there: the tons of CRAWFISH!
AND, willie nelson and bob dylan are coming together to birmingham. it's gonna be awesome. i can't wait to hear bob dylan. i missed him the last time i got the chance when he played homecoming at alabama, because i was a STUPID freshman. ugh. but, it will be here, june 5. the only bad thing is… it's during annual conference, and i had promised time to help there. maybe, just maybe i can get around it. at this point, the only thing that would make my night better is to find out if tom petty was coming back through. but he's not… only to nashville or atlanta. that's the biggest bummer. but hey, city stages (with citizen cope, mindy smith, the killers, etc.) is also coming. and next week is iron & wine. the decemberists are coming to workplay may 12. and then there's the lake. i can feel it… it could be a great summer.
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tomorrow is camp. it's gonna be great. the book, 'blue like jazz' is fantastic. i recommend it even if you're not going. it's a good easy, but deep read. i should probably go pack… especially when i'm trying to be at work by 6:30 so i can head out early.
and i'm now over the hump
after the week i've had, all i want to do is <lj-cut text="this">this…
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v178/DMCemily/polarbear.bmp">
well, maybe minus the ice.</lj-cut>
when i go to sleep tonight, i will drop for sure. and it will mean that i'm officially finished with classes. well, except for the one i'll miss on saturday for convergence (but it's already taken care of with getting notes) and one on monday that will be purely symbolic to receive our papers. the only thing i hate is that i have no control over my grades at this point. papers will be finished, written, graded, and i can't fix them. from here on out, i can only pray that the A's i've received will hold on… and that i get a C in my 2 con law classes. i have one test to turn into today that is worth total crap… and it shows. i missed 2 weeks worth of all my classes because i was sick, and that class i didn't get notes. so, here's hoping for something good. he did a lot of not-in-the-text lecturing during my absence, so i'm basically screwed. oh well, there's nothing i can do about it now.
last night i HAD to take a break from all the work. i went to hear franklin and joe do stand-up. they're great… if you ever get a first or third wednesday open, go check them out. then, i went over to workplay to hear jesse payne. he's a fella from canterbury's young adults ministry. annie, the director of it, told me to drop in so i did. however, i had missed her, and almost the whole show. but it's ok… it was worth it to hear joe before i left. annie did bring me the CD of the band that preceded jesse though. they're not horrible, but they sound like any garage band trying to make it. there's nothing that exciting about them. but apparently their bassist looks like a bear and likes to jump around the stage. or that's what annie said. but jesse payne was great.
<lj-cut text="don't laugh at the obsession">so here's a pet peeve of mine, that will probably reveal too much about my obsessive tendencies. my favorite "clostrophobic" shoes are my wallabees (i prefer my flipflops on any normal casual occasion not associated with work). well, my wallabees are perfectly set to slide into when i wear them… they've got the exact framing around my feet to where they're not bothersome. today, the unthinkable happened. one of them came untied. so, i tie it back. and now it's tighter than the other. so then i have to retie the other. but then it's not tight enough. it takes 15 minutes, or maybe just 5, getting them to where they are perfect again, which they're not, because they've got to loosen up again. oy. it's trouble. too bothersome… case in point, wear the damn flipflops next time.</lj-cut>
today we had a picnic in honor of the staff's patience during construction, held by brasfield & gorie. there were probably 200 people out there, with all the construction and contract guys. i didn't see my beloved fire alarm guy. he's my favorite. but i did see rick, the coolest assistant foreman ever. he's one of those intimidating bike-riding guys, but he's so laid back and sweet. it's great. and here's another point to ponder… if it was held in our honor, shouldn't the staff be thankful and chat with the construction people? most of ours didn't, but there were 5 of us who sat right in the middle of a bunch of guys and just talked. i think it scared them. but one of them showed us his lighter… it said 'git 'er dun' when you flipped it open. it was funny.
all of that, in addition to reading the first 3 chapters of 'blue like jazz' in the doctor's office this morning, provoked my mind about how we usually think that we're better than others. we automatically place a chasm between us, almost unintentionally or subconsciously. i don't mean to do it, but i do. today, my intent is to break that down, and realize that had i not be born when i was, i could have been born in india without anything, or i could be a construction worker, and i'd be happy because i was alive, not thinking that i was or wasn't someone or something else. well, in a perfect world i guess i wouldn't think about it.
my stress will hopefully die down a little bit now. at least it should with convergence this weekend. i can't wait. 'blue like jazz' is awesome, and i can't wait to hear what the bish has to say about it. good times, with great people at the best place in the world. tomorrow can't get here any faster.
wordspeak
<lj-cut text="so how d'ya say that?"><table width=400 align=center border=1 bordercolor=black cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2>
<tr><td align="center" bgcolor="#A8FFB3">
<h3>Your Linguistic Profile:</h3>
</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#D9FFD8">
65% General American English</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#A8FFB3">
20% Dixie</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#D9FFD8">
15% Yankee</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#A8FFB3">
0% Midwestern</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#D9FFD8">
0% Upper Midwestern</td></tr></table>
<div align="center">
<a href="http://www.blogthings.com/amenglishdialecttest/">What Kind of American English Do You Speak?</a>
</div>
hahaha. i've got 20% dixie, 15% yankee. that's kind of funny. at least i'm pretty general, though.</lj-cut>
what is it really all about?
definitely not the hokey-pokey. but if it was, would you be ready? it'd be one kickin' time.
<lj-cut text="this is why there are too many depressed singles">
so, today, our young adults/singles minister brought in a book for us to giggle over. it is called…
<img src="http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0310262658.01._AA400_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg" align="Center">
yes, that's right… how to get a date worth keeping. the most interesting is the subtitle… be dating in six months or less or your money back!
yeah, what a crock… christians who write that crap should be turned into salt. all they do is create false sense of hope in anyone, and then profit off of it. if you were a skeezy crook in the likes of schindler (it's true), then this is the gig for you. but at the same time, i could get all on the soapbox at unmarrieds. maybe, just maybe, you'd learn something along your path while you're unmarried that you wouldn't be able to see if you were married or if you'd stop focusing on trying to get married. live your life to the fullest, whether or not your single or married. without that, the crap of the world with just take you down. ok, that's all.
i got a little flustered with that and couldn't really form my thoughts in an intelligent manner without being way overboard with it. that's ok. i'm over it now.
</lj-cut>
one paper, one take-home test down… one paper, one take-home test to go this week. next week will be another story because finals will have begun. ahhh, wonderful day.
today i sat out in the sunshine for lunch with my boss at otey's, home of the best blackened chicken salad in mountain brook. neither of us really had anything to say… we just enjoyed each other's company and the sunshine. she knows my brain is fried from school, and i like that she doesn't push me to think when i don't have to do so. it's nice, really.
so we have a new pope. well, not me, but the catholic world does. i'm not quite convinced he'll be around very long. he's already up there in the years. it would be cool to see another whole deal like this again i guess. but would that hurt the catholic church, to pass through a few popes in few years? just a thought…
i'm amazed to read as much as i have lately about the world of JFK. of course, some of his books are the best reference for our tremendous mistake at the bay of pigs, which is the opening argument to my paper, stating that our willingness to duke out castro only increased the threat of communism in the cold war. but you probably knew that already, right? figures… i'm always the last to know. the world of presidents always fascinates me. it's almost like a rockstar kind of world. or it seems that way with JFK's life. anyways, robert dallek has an interesting book for sure, called 'an unfinished life.' there's a few great history reads i'd like to tackle. i think i'll do that sometime in the next few weeks.
on deck this week is 'blue like jazz' by donald miler for the retreat this weekend, and the book above to review and slam all day for our young adults minister. i can't wait to see what kinds of crap it will feed.
