the writer in me
sometimes i wonder how things come out like they do, and how they can withhold its own information at the same time.
i'm completely perplexed at my history midterm. i mean, i'm not complaining… i made an 88. what i don't understand is this… my scoring:
46/50 essay
24/25 short IDs
18/25 multiple choice
how the crap do i write 6 pages on what started WWI, as well as its short term and long term effects, get tremendous approval from a long-time harvard appreciated professor and score complete crap on the multiple choice?
i blame the ability to write. that's all i do now-a-days… at work, at school, on my dang livejournal. write, write, write.
not that it is a bad thing… usually i don't make a lot of sense on here. but, apparently i know what i'm talking about regarding WWI. i owe all of that information to my wonderful professor of western civilization two. thanks hooks.
i'm not gonna lie and say that i'm a little disappointed on behalf of some buddies today. i do want to say that i love you, despite your surroundings. and that, my friend, will NEVER change… even if your days, weeks or summers do.
i have another mid-term tomorrow… i turned one in today that was a take-home, and it completely kicked my face in. i have one due next tuesday… and then comes the second mid-term season. uab baffles me in that, they have 2 mid-terms for most classes. i don't understand that concept. mid-term seems pretty self-explanatory. it should mean one.
the bishop is coming to canterbury tomorrow. i wish i could be there. but, i have a test. i'm sure i'll hear the news on wednesday.
today was the most humorous lunch that i've had in a long time. you can't go wrong with some of the gals from work. they absolutely crack me up.
ok, enough nonsense for tonight. i'm going to bed to dream wonderful dreams of the day when i can have sugar again… and when roy moore is no moore.
reverberations
"sometimes when i'm all alone, i don't know if i can take another breath
some say home is where the heart is, tell me where my home is, cause i am scared to death.
i am drifting in the deep end, holding onto your hand, cause that's all that saves me now
life can treat you like a beggar, you hold me together but i don't know how.
falling from the rooftop, crashing like a rain drop, can you make my heart stop shaking like a leaf?
standing at the floodgate, steady as an earthquake, can you hear my heart break, tearing at the seams?"
lie: i have it all together.
if only… it would be a wonderful world if it were true. but, it's not. and that's ok. i felt something pulling deeper this weekend. it was a good thing. something that i've missed… but i felt it this morning as the elements were being brought to the table. it didn't let go. and i was ok with that. it was actually a relief.
reverb proved to be a lot of things for me… some i'm still pondering upon. i know that i am surrounded by wonderful people who love and support me, in their own little ways. whether it is walking around gatlinburg watching taffy being made or getting up at the butt-crack of dawn for breakfast before people go out of town, each moment this weekend was everything i needed. well, not every moment… i could've done without the upset stomach and throwing up on saturday night. i feel so bad for being such horrible company. but, if i spent time with you this weekend, thank you…. for you. that's what i love about you!
i do know that i suffer from the following exhaustion: mental, spiritual, physical, emotional. while this weekend was great, it did a number on me. i've realized that i'm old and my bones are in serious protest. i also realized that running on saturday morning in freezing cold and the hills of gatlinburg=misery. never did i realize that i would walk up and down those hills three more times saturday. then, i had to drive back today, without moving much because i was driving a freakin' mini-bus.
regardless, i had fun with so much this weekend… the anti-moore conversations, joking about how willimon is totally 'bishin', making horribly irreverent jokes with uncle sam at blaine's, connor's remarks throughout the weekend, steak 'n shake on the way home (thank God for feast days on sunday), rooming with rachel, seeing where christmas has thrown up all over eastern tennessee. probably the most theological argument today came from wurtele… i mentioned wondering what it was like actually living in gatlinburg, and his response was simply implying that if you live the life of a sinner, you'll know when you die.
that's deep.
so, apparently, i could be theologically correct to tell someone they're gonna burn in gatlinburg. i'm happy with it. and by the way, rachel… 'go to gatlinburg.'
great weekend. no sleep. no appetite now. no functioning muscles. maybe i should call it a day.
"some say home is where the heart is, and my heart is in your hands, you are all i need.
rising from the ashes, lifted from the madness, now you see my heart is deep enough to dream
heal me from the deathblow, lead and i will follow, now you feel my heart grow, mending at the seams."
-bebo norman "drifting"
come on, already.
there is nothing slower than waiting to leave one place to get on
another schedule. i.e. preps for gatlinburg as soon as i leave work.
i'd leave now, but i'm presently waiting on a proof to come across my
desk so i can OK print. she said she'd be here before 11.<br>
<br>
in order to leave for gatlinburg, the following tasks must be completed:
<br>
1. lunch
<br>
2. return clothes to NY&Co.
<br>
3. meet with administrator at trinity for van stuff
<br>
4. pack (maybe that's pretty important)
<br>
5. back to trinity at 3:30 for inspection to roll out by 4
<br>
<br>
and the proof just came in… it's beautiful! 
<a href="http://www.greenlivingroom.com/proofimages/chbroch.pdf">here it is.</a><br>
<br>
now i'm out the door. here's to a weekend of fun, conversation, echo
groups, the bishop and lots of homework for moi. unfortunately, no
partay with franklin though. have fun this weekend…<br>
sketch
ok, so i feel the need to update… mainly because. no reason, just because. isn't that sad? <br>
<br>
i would have updated sooner, but i got sick to my stomach at the
picture on mg's post. geez… that's enough to make you want to murder
her. i just don't see how people think lindsay ho-bag lohan is that
beautiful. she just has tramp written all over her. gross.<br>
<br>
this week has flown by. i haven't gotten anything done like i wanted to
though. i have work stuff taken care of, but it is school stuff that i
need to catch up on. and it looks like i'll have to do it in
gatlinburg. i have 2 take-home tests to work on and a test to study
for. man, i'm sure people envy my life.<br>
<br>
we got the best news today. next friday, our office is closed… for NO
reason at all. the carpet is being redone, and they want the staff out
of the way. hot dog… free day, free day. i can't wait. of course, i'm
sure i'll be catching up on reading and doing the weekend reading, so
that i can party like a rockstar for my best friend mollie's 25th. man,
i can't wait. it just might get crazy.<br>
<br>
this weekend is gatlinburg. i'm excited about my session with jared and
the fact that we have 50 kids in our topic. good stuff. however, i'm
not feeling too hot about the amount of time i'll lose by driving and
conventioning in gatlinburg from my studies. i've turned into such a
geek (that was for you winston… since it's the only way to still be
cool).<br>
<br>
this morning, i swear… i was listening to npr (as in every morning)
and bush was talking while he was in czechoslavakia. he said that the
iraqis were being liberated like the czechs were under communism. hmmm…
communism, dictatorship. i can see SOME similarities… but, call me
crazy: the world wasn't trying to beat down the iraq corruption like
they were the communist corruption. it seems like we, and a few small
countries were. oh well. i'm just tired of being the world police. issues, issues. <br>
<br>
i joked today with a friend that i'm gonna run for governor one day. he
said that he'd vote for me because my campaign signs would be cool. at
least i wouldn't have to hire out a designer to do the work. thank God
for vagueness about what i want to do in life so that i had a few
different majors in college.<br>
<a href="http://www.greenlivingroom.com/proofimages/soulfestposter.pdf"><br>
here's what i've been working on in the past few days…</a> coming to a youth room near you.<br>
political happiness
ok, so good news. the paper reports that in a poll conducted the other day that predicted the following results in a gubernatorial race…
so far the candidates are: lt. gov. baxley (D), gov. bob riley (R), former justice roy moore (R), former gov. don siegelman (D).
baxley 39% v. riley 35%
baxley 44% v. moore 38%
riley 43% v. siegelman 34%
moore 44% v. siegelman 34% **
**this case would signal an extreme emergency, encouraging all democrats and people with common sense to evacuate the state of alabama immediately, as well as the news of hell freezing over.
the sad thing is that moore actually HAS a chance at the governor's race. i just hope that riley can stick to his guns and keep the GOPs happy. because, there's a slim chance that dems in alabama would probably keep siegelman over baxley in a primary.
apparently, there's also new talk of a gambling system to boost the general fund. wait, maybe hell has already frozen… we are a red state, and proposing gambling. i'm impressed.
funnies
boy, i enjoyed today, even if i had a midterm.
the day started with the 'baby got book' video, and laughter ensued the rest of the day.
i walked into the workroom, as a large bang came through the hall from construction, and said, 'good lord,' in shock. the sr. minister turned around and said, 'oh, you can just call me bill, really.' nice. i giggled for a few minutes.
at staff meeting, we were talking about how welcome people are at the church. some said the new members felt incredibly welcomed, while the older people were the ones complaining. one of our ministers said, 'well, so we have a few more funerals and we'll be set.' wow… of course, you have to be in the normal swing of our church humor, but it was funny.
i wore my hard hat to staff meeting today, and apparently everyone thought it was humorous. i was just trying to avoid a major head injury in our hallway today. all hell broke loose, and the entire scenery has changed within a few hours. sometimes i hate construction.
i got the strangest call today. it was this guy (or i thought it was a woman maybe) asking for money for bills. i repeatedly told them that i wasn't the contact for that. they were persistent that it was me. and then they said, 'and i've also heard that you are one fine piece of ass.' WHAT? i didn't know what to say… and then they said, 'it's matt miller.' i was in complete shock. so thanks miller for completely stumping me. and for the call anyways. it was good to catch up and laugh.
at class tonight, my con law professor was trying to explain that he was from the 'panhandle of west virginia' while we were explaining that the panhandle was in florida. and then he showed us visually what the shape of west virginia looked like… by flipping us off. and when he drew it, everyone's mind seriously went in the gutter. the man has the art skills of a 3-year-old.
so, i had a giggly day. who knows what tomorrow might bring. hopefully more laughter. today was too much fun.
PLUS, my modern europe test is OVER. we'll see how i did. i hope it was ok. AND, my con law professor moved my test due date to next monday. thus proof, that there IS such a thing as the good graces of professors.
question… do i really sound and have the same mannerisms of the 30-minute-meals chick? seriously? i've been told that 50 times, i swear.
oh me, oh my…
oh my gosh… look at her book, it is so big.<br>
<a href="http://froderman.com/files/baby_got_book.wmv">baby got… what?</a><br>
<br>
what a way to start the morning.<br>
i quit.
i give up. i'm so tired of studying. my eyes hurt and are heavy. i hate feeling like this. it is worse than a hangover. i mean, what? no like a… surgery. yeah. ugh. i don't know if i can absorb anymore trivial facts from my professor of modern europe. i guess we'll see what happens tomorrow at 3:30. here's to a good grade.
good weekend though, other than studying. 'charlie brown' was great. i enjoyed watching patty (anna) flirt shamelessly with snoopy (johnny). oh, and if you only knew the back stage of it all. my dentist was lucy, and all i could think about is her singing the next time i'm in the chair during 'the doctor is in' song. then, linus (wesley) tripped me up. wesley has normally led the congregation on sundays if r.scott isn't there. all i could imagine was wesley in a black robe and a blue blanket saying 'delightful.' good show guys and gals.
i felt like a bad friend leaving from the musical to party with drew. but i found out today that they didn't think anything of it. so, that's good. i don't feel nearly as lousy as i did yesterday about it. although, there is still some guilt. i am glad that i left on some strange level. i met some great people, danced foolishly with people, suggested horrible things to drew and never had to buy a drink. it was a good night. thanks fellas.
i was totally worried about my saturday morning class though because of my late night (well, to many it was early… i'm getting old). fortunately, she handed out our notes and sent us home. i did get to run before, and that was good. i'm glad i went, because i would've never gotten anything done yesterday if i didn't get up. i studied yesterday… all day. blah. i even missed out on my dinner party at a friend's house because i didn't feel like being sociable since i had been in my books all day. geez, that's pathetic.
church this morning, with an outrageous metaphor i thought would never ever be suggested. apv preached this morning and said, 'humility is like underwear… it's definitely necessary and usually indecent.' wow… i didn't see that coming. the congregation cracked. it was the most laughter i've ever heard there.
since i had a tea to go to this afternoon, i wasted some time this morning… coffee with anna, chatting with timmy and then shopping at the summit. i love shopping for clothes now. i probably could have done without money-wise, but i'm running out of things to wear to work. the whole weight-loss thing kind of puts a damper on your wardrobe after a while. all my best gals from bama were there at the tea. it made me happy.
i've been studying since i got home around 4. i'm so sick of it, so it has been retired for the evening. i fully plan to park it in a minute and watch desperate housewives and then crash. it's gonna be a long day tomorrow.
by the way, does anyone else think it's odd that kfc (KENTUCKY fried chicken) is using 'sweet home alabama' as their commercial background music? or is it just me?
so it has all come down to this…
this weekend seems like a blur, yet i remember even the smallest detail.
i've been a horrible friend, a forgiving friend, a flirt, a loner, an undependable committee member, a diligent student, a disciplined runner, a picky eater, a music snob, a movie snob and a bum all in the past 24 hours. i keep wondering if it is a personality disorder or just the need for more in my weekly life.
do you ever look at your decisions that you've made in the past couple of days and wonder if you've done the right thing? the correct decision may have been made or maybe not. it was too gray. i've been in too many of those moments this weekend already, and i think that is why i feel so disoriented.
i think i seriously let down my best friend last night. i deserted her in search of a more laid-back atmosphere where i could just let loose for a while. and in that decision, i've probably angered her. i have to face her tomorrow, and i don't know if i'm ready to do it or not. i don't know if words can actually describe how bad i feel about the situation. i feel so bad about it because when i left, i had a better time. what do you do about those kinds of situations? any advice?
so, now… i decided that i didn't want to let anyone else down, so i stayed in tonight. fear has taken hold of me and i haven't been able to shake it, and it bothers me. but staying in, i feel better, because i haven't let anyone down yet.
but then again, i have. i had a committee meeting today. i wasn't prepared for it. add to that the pressure of 3 midterms and no rest this past week, i just couldn't do it. and i'm still not finished with everything. i wish i could stop playing catch-up for a while. i seriously can't wait for spring break. not that i'll get to go anywhere… i'll get to catch-up completely, AND get ahead. that will be a wonderful day.
how sad is it that i've basically just planned through april in one sentence. might as well have though, from here on out, it will be a blur for sure. i just hope that i'll be lucky enough to remember something.
hell is overrated.
<div style="width: 400; text-align: center; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><p style="margin-right: 0; margin-left: 0; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #7F0000;"><b>Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies</b><br>Circle I Limbo</p><p style="margin-right: 10; margin-left: 10; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #8F0000;"><b>Your Mom</b><br>Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind</p><p style="margin-right: 20; margin-left: 20; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #9F0000;"><b>Rednecks</b><br>Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow</p><p style="margin-right: 30; margin-left: 30; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #AF0000;"><b>Uneducated Voters</b><br>Circle IV Rolling Weights</p><p style="margin-right: 40; margin-left: 40; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #BF0000;"><b>Bill Gates</b><br>Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled</p><p style="border-style: solid none; border-color: black; background: white; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0;">River Styx</p><p style="margin-right: 50; margin-left: 50; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #CF0000;"><b>Republicans</b><br>Circle VI Buried for Eternity</p><p style="border-style: solid none; border-color: black; background: white; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0;">River Phlegyas</p><p style="margin-right: 60; margin-left: 60; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #DF0000;"><b>George Bush</b><br>Circle VII Burning Sands</p><p style="margin-right: 70; margin-left: 70; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #EF0000;"><b>Osama bin Laden</b><br>Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement</p><p style="margin-right: 80; margin-left: 80; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; background: #FF0000;"><b>Uday Hussein</b><br>Circle IX Frozen in Ice</p><p><a href="http://www.gaydeceiver.com/misc/hell/" style="color: red;">Design your own hell</a></p></div>
well, that proved to be an interesting part of my day.
